Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Tough Mudder and Pull-Ups

I forget how I got turned on to Tough Mudder. The point is that I did. I had it in my mind that I was going to do it. Then I rallied some coworkers, mostly through trash talk, and convinced my CEO to sponsor an entire team. So now, not only have I registered, I have to put on a tough face for my colleagues since it was my super... awesome... idea.

OKAY! I have less than four weeks to get into top agility shape; mostly so my ankles don't break when I jump off an elevated platform into a shipping crate of ... ice. Again, awesome idea, Katie.

Here's a picture of me. Doing one pull-up. Because that's literally all I can do. Living in New York City is perfect for this. Scaffolding is EVERYWHERE. 

I accept that, as a woman, I have underdeveloped back muscles that make it much more difficult for me to pull my body weight up more than any man. (Yep, that's what I'm telling myself.) Dude, pull-ups are hard. No matter how much my brain is telling my arms to just pull, pull, pull, my body gets stuck. Then my arms start shaking. Then a searing fire-pain rips through my arms. And then I'm back on the ground. I watch my husband do ten of these without one single, staggered breath. But....?? Wha--?? How!!!

Something tells me I'm not going to be able to take the training very seriously, being as I usually reach for a glass of wine before my lemon water when I'm finished. Hm. Also, can I ask why exercising makes you want to eat healthier? All I want to do is eat lettuce leafs and wheat pellets. (Until tomorrow when I'll be scarfing down coffee and bagels around 9:30am.)

So anyway, a great routine has become running up to Riverbank State Park with its soccer fields, baseball fields, basketball courts, a track and my training ground: a child's playground. There I can spend six minutes trying to do my one pull-up, and then throw in a few dips, leg ups, pushups and monkey bars and feel great about myself because little Sammy over there is too scared to even climb up to the top of the slide. It does wonders for my confidence. Thanks, tots! I guess if I had to set a goal, since I can feel the breath of my colleagues on my back already, it would be to do three pull-ups before the event. I think that would make me feel good about my super intense training regimen.

Don't even get me started on what I'm going to wear. I need to go read some female Tough Mudder finisher blogs!

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